The only reason I’m still alive is because I don’t want to cause any heartache or hardship for the people I love.

I’ve really, really been struggling with depression lately. I’ve asked my primary care physician about antidepressants multiple times, but because I have other physical health problems, they refuse to talk about mental health until my physical health is better. I kind of want to grab them by the shoulders and yell that there won’t be any physical health to worry about if we don’t take care of my mental health.

I just feel so hopeless, but I know if I die, it’s going to make people very sad, and inconvenience them as well. I have a fair amount of debt that is nowhere near being settled.

I’m just not sure how much longer I can hold on.