If a message here is meant for me:

Will it help you feel better if I say i hate u, too?

I could definitely take a joke now (but i know hating me is not a joke) . I learned that people have different humor and sometimes I just have to get used to the ambience.Its okay you know, you really dont have to over think this. Just imagine that it didnt happen you know. But if you insist then thats okay too. I want you to know that you have the every power to be jovial again. Is someone in your circle constantly reminding you of this? Is your brain ruminating? Your brain will believe everything you tell it. You could either poison or heal you. Dont let me or anyone take the joy of your authentic self or something you are comfortable with. Honor your feelings and reactions but dont let them stay.

Tell me, do you want to formally talk about this? I am not in the intention to chase anything, I just wanted to help you ease that dissonance in your brain because believe me, I do, too. I could never actually rest if I know that someone that I care about is suffering because of something I started. I forgot I would also like tp apologize for that. I have reasons why I did what I did but thats not important. I invaded your personal space for venting by replying back. Time and space are really tricky because I never thought Id found you here. It was not in my intention to have some doubts because I was here to occasionally vent too.

If you want me to greet on your birthday you couldve ask for me. If aim in my own agency I would prefer it if I wouldnt because I felt were not close enough as friends to do so. You also dont greet me during my birthday so its also my ego talking lmao.

By coming to you, do you mean I would talk to you personally? Is that it? Are you even sure you could handle that? It would be really great if you could Express your emotions truly if its non confrontational?

What makes you feel happy right now? What do you need right now? You could ask those questions if you feel trap again. There’s no one stopping you for who you want to be. Watch funny Movies or preoccupy yourself.

I have bad sides too. Yeah I could be annoying and look I shouldnt have bothered replying this long but I did because thats what I want. I could leave you alone but I didnt and thats because my brain would be much at ease if I address it. We do stupid s*** sometimes and thats fine. I mean who doesnt 😂

You can go back to your work now. Or whatever that might be. Im here to tell you that sometimes it be like that.