I don’t know if I’ll be able to have guts to say to you this all directly or not
but yesss uh affect me b****, uh affect me in a lot of ways … I f****** want you but at the same time I don’t f****** want you
wtf uh think uh are huh??? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and obviously uh know it very well
it’s gonna be one year soon since I’ve met you I wish I could go back to the time and say everything openly and just think that it’s my last day with you … I hate myself for not saying everything I had in my mind at that time… I always used to think that I’ll say all this that day or this day …. I just f****** hate you seriously I DO

and now from looking at the situation it seems like everything’s gonna stop bcoz from now on at least I’m not gonna come to you not untill I’ll be free
and I’m busy asf rn bcoz of all the work s*** is going… it’s gonna take a lot of time and now let’s see if uh will be coming to me or not… and one more thing I’m not including my damn a** birthday… I already hate my birthday, there’s nthg to celebrate about and I totally hate when people wish to me like it’s one of the best day of year, but the truth it IT’S NOT (but still my dammit heart is gonna wait for your f****** wish, SO DISTURBING)
I like my normal days more than anything, when there’s no drama in my life… completely ZERO DRAMA
I love those days…
uh knw wht uh can call me crazy or psycho for still hoping on smthg that definitely doesn’t exist in future… and uh knw what I mean very well… I just hate the way I think about you.. it seems like a never ending saga inside my brain… I’m bad at holding people but look at you I’m ready to hold uh no matter what… but at this point of my life I’m just tired of everything not just of you but my whole life… I want a long a** break but I can’t bcoz if I’ll take I’m gonna be fucked up so bad so yess I’M STUCK BAD I KNOW
anyways let’s hope for the best and prepare for the worst although I’m already at my worst situation but wht can I say now
Ily babe -NL