Oh asteroid Hater! Ye of little faith! I have adjusted Asteroid ‘2009 JF1′ to strike San Francisco, that city of sin.

The tidal waves will wash the Rocky Mountains away and carry them to New Jersey, the national landfill. All shall be swept away in the Empire of Evil. ALL shall perish. I shall not spare even one.

Thou may mockest me as they did in the days of Noah. But my hand shall prevail as it did before. Woe unto thee, Asteroid Hater!