this is the worst birthday of my life i’m living abroad away from my family at a boarding school where everyone hates me because they think i’m weird and i hate myself for that too and my favorite person died and i can’t call her and i miss her especially today and i’m worried my brother might commit while i’m thousands of miles away and I’m having health concerns and my psychiatrist no showed to out zoom appointment today and I ate sushi that tasted gross and now my stomach hurts and i’m on my period and i miss everyone i love and i want to stop existing so i can feel my heart beat again