I feel empty inside . Today is my 2 month anniversary . I am an Indian girl . I married a guy who did not have good history . After our marriage was fixed , he told me his secrets and facts one by one . I was shattered but I didnt want to break the marriage coz my parents and family will be worried . I tried to do it once but he asked for one chance and I gave it . I kept all his secrets with me and didnt tell anything of it to my family . After the night of my wedding my sister got access to all our chats and she was shattered reading it . She said I broke her trust and I dont think her as a sister thats why I didnt tell her anything. She was in depression for almost a month and still recovering . I really die inside daily , I put her through this situation .
In my in laws place I am taking all those efforts a douther in law makes to keep her inlows happy . I have accepted my husband and I really want to love him .. but he doesnt talk to me if he is in no mood to . Sometimes I get so tired by all the household and office work , I just need him to talk to me but he doesnt care.. ignores me . He lies to me.. Comes close at night but then he is not fine if I dont let him have s**.. He doesnt cuddle even if I try to . I miss my mom.. I need cuddles . Sometimes he ll try to show he cares.. sometimes he doesnt.
I dont have bi expectations I just want my share which I think I deserve to have but life is giving me all the cries.. I just want to cut myself but I stop myself just because if my sister notices it .. she will be in pain ..
Life is hell ..