My boyfriend has wildly unmanaged anxiety and OCD. I wonder if there’s ADHD in there, too. The tiniest, most insignificant b******* drives him crazy and as a result, I start to go insane. He repeats and obsesses over the same f****** garbage over and over. Something as simple as a computer error will set him off. “I’m being hacked. Someone must be hacking me. I need to figure this out now. What if I can’t? I don’t like it. Someone is hacking me and they’re going to steal everything.” I spend so much time telling him that everything is fine and giving him reasons why [literally told him he’s not that f****** important and nobody wants his s***] that I start to wonder if things really are okay. I have a lot of mental health issues but I try to keep them inside, out of his reach, but I’m starting to drown. I’m in tears this morning.

I’m becoming miserable. It’s starting to really affect me 2 years in. He wakes up like an hour and a half before his alarm upset [he can’t help it] and starts getting worked up, keeps saying he doesn’t want to go. When I’m by myself during the week for work I start panicking and saying I don’t want to go to work. I don’t hate my job but it makes me feel like I do. He doesn’t even hate his f****** job he’s just has problems socializing with people because of the anxiety.

When he’s done work and goes to shower I make his lunch. I’ve realized that I’m trying to help take a worry/task off his mind but I’m also trying to distract myself from the impending s*** storm. “I shouldn’t have said that. I said too much. They saw me get upset. They were staring at me. Did I do something wrong? They were trying to get me going. I shouldn’t have done that. I need to stop talking.” over and over and over and over and over and over no matter what logical, sound reasoning I offer.

I love him. I want to spend my life with him. But if he doesn’t get proper help I will probably kill myself one day.