im a 13 year old trans boy and im terrified of growing up. i know ill never be able to properly transition with my family in my life but they arent bad enough for me to be able to justify leaving them. i dont think im going to reach my 20s, or even my 18th birthday. i feel like i only have a few years left and then i have no choice but to kill myself. my only other option is living as a girl for the rest of my life and i dont think i can mentally handle that. i dont know what to do anymore, ive lost all hope that things will get better. i wish i would have just been born a boy.