To you whom I love for years,

It’s funny how I thought I’m not capable of loving someone so deep. Deeper like how I love myself. Because knowing myself I easily get infatuated. Then you came. And that changes everything.

It was like winning a lottery when we became so close more than I can even imagine. I got to know you. The real you. The “you” that others cannot see. Sending each other messages regardless which social networking site to use. Late night talks. You cared for me as much as I care for myself and as someone who admired you I felt so fulfilled. But that’s it. There’s no label on it.

Sometimes my friends would ask me if we were together and I don’t know what to answer. Because the truth is, I don’t know what this is. I like you. No. Let’s scratch that. I think I love you. However that’s me. I am not sure what you feel towards me. And I’m to afraid to ask for I don’t want to ruin what we have right now if you don’t feel the same way.

One moment I’m happy with all the attention you’re giving me and then suddenly everything changes. I can’t contact you anymore. I don’t even know how to reach you. Everything was just falling to tiny pieces. A lot of what if’s. A lot of maybes. For years all I ever wanted was for you to notice me. To realize that there’s a me whose always here for you. But that never happened. Well I guess that’s life. One day you woke up and feel that you’re not the same person from yesterday.

I think after almost 2 years of thinking, I finally got tired. It’s time for me to face the reality that not everything that we wanted will be given to us. Sometimes you just got lucky. Well in my case, I got lucky because I had the opportunity to introduce myself to you. Make you feel that I’m here for you. If you didn’t felt that way, then it’s not my problem anymore. All I wanted to say is Thank you for making my life like a rollercoaster ride.

We were not meant to be together. You found your forever and now, it’s time for me to find mine. Until we see each other again.