A year ago, I decided I wanted to participate in a career advancement project overseas and was eager to buy a roundtrip ticket for it regardless of whether the project accepted me or not; however, in my head, my mother berated me for my arrogance, and I did not buy the ticket. I was accepted to the project and a roundtrip ticket inevitably ended up costing me thousands of dollars more.
Eight months ago, upon incorrectly filing for a student visa application (for grad school after the aforementioned project), I immediately submitted a refund request via the government site, which assured me I’d receive a response in two weeks–plenty of time to refile or accommodate for complications prior to the start of school. Only after submitting a complaint to the department at large did I receive a response and refund… two weeks after school started, and I’d entered loan repayment as I didn’t qualify as a student without being enrolled; I could not enroll without a completed visa application. The budget for relocating for school was subsequently spent during the months waiting for the application refund–I could no longer afford to start school in 2013.
Six months ago, I deferred my school enrollment and decided to seek a job w/in my industry of study: I now qualified for a number of positions thanks to the career advancement project. A number of consistent positions were available working for the government; otherwise, I’d made an associate in CRM who I could broach for a job as well. A month after I deferred enrollment, the government shutdown occurred, heavily targeting the departments and organizations to whom I’d hoped to apply. There was no money for new staff; there was no work. Turning to my new associate in CRM, I found he’d left his organization for ethical reasons and was enjoying semi-retirement.
Three months ago, I hoped to sustain myself through any relocation necessary to get a job and start anew with or without anyone’s help. In light of my 2013 expenses, I was looking forward to my tax refund and hoped to do my taxes in mid-January. The refund would be financial cushioning in any move. I was excited about the prospect until I learned that tax filing wouldn’t be valid until the January 31, 2014, thanks to the government shutdown.
A month ago, I delayed my plans to move to wait to file my taxes. Doing small odd jobs that left me frequently at home, I decided to loan my vehicle to my sister, a single mother of two who recently went through a messy custody battle, for the month until she could find one of her own. The year had been hard on our family as a whole, with the loss of our maternal grandmother and the complexities of the custody case; so, I began to think maybe my plans hadn’t worked out because I would have been unable to support my family physically or morally from overseas. I intended to leave as soon as my taxes were filed; so, I saw little wrong with lending her the car for only a month.
A little more than a week ago, my sister backed my car into another vehicle in a parking lot. It’s the first damage caused to the vehicle since I bought it three years ago. My sister’s primary concern when telling me of the incident was not to apologize but to hide the issue from our mother. For a week as I fumbled my way through the foreign process of dealing with the insurance claim, every word that spilled from her mouth was self-centered, irresponsible, and dismissive. As I’m struggling for money and a steady job as much as any other soul in this economy, she has the gall to show me all the “great deals” she’s bought from Groupon, including a number of large pieces of furniture for her apartment.
An hour ago, I was informed that none of the local body shops could schedule the body work necessary prior to February 20th. One month. One month to put myself together and move on was all I needed at the start of January. I perform what I thought was an act of kindness, and… and, in the end, all it seems like is that I’ve been taken advantage of by an ingrateful brat a decade my senior! I… am… furious. I’m done being friendly; I’m done being nice; I’m done being humble or good or responsible. I’m 27, and I’m running away from home to join the circus because I’m done!