There's this really amazing guy that I really like, and I give him little origami things at the end of the day. He's got the brightest smile and sweetest

5 years

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There’s this really amazing guy that I really like, and I give him little origami things at the end of the day. He’s got the brightest smile and sweetest eyes. He likes to put his hand over his stupid perfect mouth to annoy me and I shove his hoodie over his laughing face to annoy him. And a few times a day, he’ll surprise me by gently put my hood over my head. My best friend that I’ve known since elementary is interested in him too. We are going to different colleges next year, and the guy is going to the same college as me. She doesn’t know that I really want him and I don’t intend on telling her because she’s a great friend and she always moves her needs to the side for me and I feel really bad. I want to let her have something for herself, but I’ve never loved anyone like this before. I feel really comfortable around him and he is such a genuinely nice guy. I’ve told my mom all about him; she’s seen pictures of him. I don’t know if this makes sense, but when I first saw, him, my subconscious told me “there he is.” I don’t know how to put my feelings into words, but you should get the idea. I just really love him. Love is a strong word, but I feel this is the right time to use it. I don’t know why I’m sharing this on the internet and I’m so sorry for writing an entire paragraph and if you can relate, but it just really hurts and I don’t know what to do about it.

New Confession

To be human is to continually change. Your desire to remain as you are is what ultimately limits you.

The Puppet Master

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even when there’s so many people around me i feel so lonely. i feel like ive always been there for the little things in everyone elses’ life that i forget to be there for myself. ever since my first breakup 3 years ago i’ve always felt like there was an empty void to feel. not the kind of empty void that another person fills but the kind where im ok with my own presence. all my talking stages feel like i’m chasing someone just to make them love me. everyone says im pretty, kind, and caring but i don’t know what im missing that someone else has. maybe its the way i give talking stages my all and the way i show up even when they hurt me hoping that they’ll change. i want a love thats genuine and gentle with my broken heart. not because im desperate but because i want to feel loved the way i love others. im blessed to have a soft heart again and again even when it feels like it should be hard as stone.