my fiancé is a T1D, and i think about using his insulin to end my own life a lot more than i would like to admit. i’ve never told anyone, but i know how

5 years

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my fiancé is a T1D, and i think about using his insulin to end my own life a lot more than i would like to admit. i’ve never told anyone, but i know how to administer it, considering i’ve been helping him with it for years.
i tend to be a complete failure at everything, dropped out of school at a young age, can’t please anyone for the life of me. i just don’t want to be here anymore. i’ve been depressed for such a long time, it doesn’t seem to ever get any better, and i don’t want to keep letting everyone down. i have very little motivation and i’m unhappy with everything even though all i really want is to get my s*** together.
i don’t think i will actually use it, because i wouldn’t want to hurt the few people who care about me. but if it was possible for me to take my own life without actually taking my own life, i would. sorry if that was too dark.

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