I got rejected by my perfect girl. Now I kind of want to stab her. We used to see each other almost every day. She showed interest in me. But then it

5 years

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I got rejected by my perfect girl. Now I kind of want to stab her. We used to see each other almost every day. She showed interest in me. But then it faded. So I got depressed. Now she says I’m negative and she doesn’t want negativity in her life. So she’s cut me out completely. We never talk. She ignores my messages. She hurt me so much that I now feel like going to her place and beating the f****** s*** out of her and r***** her. I’m tempted. But I wont do it. I’m just so f****** angry and hurt that she’s cut me off like that. I loved her and now I both love and hate her. Part of me also just wants to commit suicide right in front of her to hurt her and scar her. I know I just need to move on but she was so perfect and I can’t live without her. It’s been four months of agony without her. She has a boyfriend and I want to f****** stab him too! I f****** hate life!

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The human body is a machine which winds its own springs. It is the living image of perpetual motion.

The puppet master

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even when there’s so many people around me i feel so lonely. i feel like ive always been there for the little things in everyone elses’ life that i forget to be there for myself. ever since my first breakup 3 years ago i’ve always felt like there was an empty void to feel. not the kind of empty void that another person fills but the kind where im ok with my own presence. all my talking stages feel like i’m chasing someone just to make them love me. everyone says im pretty, kind, and caring but i don’t know what im missing that someone else has. maybe its the way i give talking stages my all and the way i show up even when they hurt me hoping that they’ll change. i want a love thats genuine and gentle with my broken heart. not because im desperate but because i want to feel loved the way i love others. im blessed to have a soft heart again and again even when it feels like it should be hard as stone.