I don’t know what to do. In my last therapy session, my therapist pointed out that there were certain things that really concerned her that we couldn’t seem to find the cause of. For example, I seem to have a physical and mental block for screaming for help. I tried, but I literally could not. After trying to figure out if there was some other trauma I experienced that I subconsciously pushed so far deep down that I blocked the memory, I happened to remember something.
I honestly don’t even know if it’s a real memory or not, or if it was a dream, or what. I seriously don’t know. But I have a very vague memory (when I was probably 5 or so) of being in a small closet with my cousin (2 years older than me, same gender), and being her on top of me. It was the middle of the night and she was telling me to be quiet. I can’t remember if we were clothed or not, but it’s obvious now that she was taking advantage of me (even if neither of us were old enough to truly understand).
I don’t dare say anything. I can’t bring myself to ask. I hope it was a dream. Or a fake memory, though I don’t know how that would even happen. But it also really disturbs me that I can’t remember and that I don’t know what really happened…