prefaceeeeee: i am a boy
ok so in my english class this boy sits in front of the teachers desk. personally, i try to make eye contact with the teacher so that they know that i’m paying attention, so it’s a little hard to do that when someone is kinda blocking that view. what i do instead, though, is like, offset my direction so that i’m still kinda looking at the teacher while not looking directly at this boy. obviously, this would look like i’m staring at them because there’s such a small margin! and there have been times where i’ve looked at him, but yeahhh….
another fact abt me: i’m also like, gay.
so, thru-out my life, i’ve never felt obliged to actually hide mannerisms that one would call “gay” which obviously means that like, everyone knows that i am gay.
anyways, i have like the tiniest crush on him, and i’m still contemplating if i actually am attracted to him. and this is horrifying because, given the situation, i am clearly gay and it looks like i am staring at his random boy in my class (he is also in my geometry class)
now here’s where the “a pain” part comes in <<3,/3/3/3
so i'm walking in the hall, and i'm walking to my geometry class (our english class is before our geometry class) and he like, looks behind him because someone behind me is calling his name and i'm pretty sure he notices that i'm behind him and he begins walking quicker…
like, because i still feel some sort of attraction to him, i value his opinion. and obviously, while i haven't, like, even talked to him, his body language obviously tells me that i am not really likable, which is reallllyyy embarassing.