Dear N
Hope you are doing good. I am not as I am hung up with our past memories. I was always scared to accept that I loved you wholeheartedly. I thought accepting my feelings would only make it hard and makes us go through a tough break-up. We all have our shortcomings. I never tried hard enough in our relationship. I never once tried to know you fully and I kept on shutting you down. I never wanted to give it a try coz, I always felt that we didn’t have a future. Now I regret everything, I should have tried harder. That way even a hard end would have had closure. I think I still love you. But soon I will get over it, which I am trying to do every day! And I also know that I have slowly fallen out for you. I don’t impact you much as before. This thought breaks my heart more than anything but also kicks my self-respect to move on too. I always kept imagining too many scenarios like meeting you again but I do know we both are toxic for each other and we never understood each other. I was never able to open up to you or tell you back whenever you were immature. I just kept quiet. I regret that the most. Will be able to open up to someone ever again!? I don’t want my life to be painful that’s the only thing I keep wishing for every day. I have had nothing to inspire me in recent days. I am just waiting for the spring so that I can see the cherry blossoms again! Will at least that make me happy and move on!?