My fiance, is such a sweet guy. no matter what kind of fight we have or bad day we have, a hug and a kiss can change our mood in a second. He always appreciates me and cares for me so much. He’s also protective.. Well sometimes overprotective. He doesn’t trust other men around me (I’m not the type of girl that people check out!). he does not like for me to even to say hello or thank you! But now, after being diagnosed with anxiety issues, he’s slowly realising his controlling behaviour towards me and I’m glad that he’s improving on his trust issues. We even go out for dinner/walks more often.

What bums me out the most is his anger over small things. He tells me that I have hurt him more with actions such as “taking my parents side, when he needed support in an argument”. I really love him. But he fails to realise that back then, my parents were against us and I was terrified on how to react! It is true and I have said sorry a million times. But what is worse is even if something slightly similar happens, he brings out all hurtful incidents which have happened to him (by my family) and shouts at me as if he has touretts syndrme or something. When he wants to scold me he sometimes scolds me for 30 minutes on the phone. Sometimes I can’t listen to the mean hurtful words he says and I keep the phone far away while he is talking. He cools off after he has vented his anger says he is sorry.

Sometimes i want to leave him and run away somewhere far away where no one would bring up all the bad and sad memories frm the past and use it along with heart piercing words that crumble your personality and make you feel so low of yourself.

I just hope one day when he gets mad, he would think of all the good things I have done for him before his foul mouth opens. (( like moving from the country that i was studying at to the country where he was studying (I had to have a huge fight with my parents for it. But now that we are accepted my by family, my parents don’t hate him any more), standing up to my father on behalf of him when my father made silly fat/financial jokes about him, not speaking to another man apart from my father and fiance within three years that we dated; For being a faithful traditional girl to him even while we were away in two countries and I that credited him for all my educational success))

Without his temper tantrums he is the perfect man to me because I know I have faults within me. but when I hurt someone I do regret it and try to atleast make sure to control myself of making sure the situation does not go out of hand!

I wish he could stop expecting things to go his way ALL THE TIME and rather accept things as they are or as they come! the minute I try to convey this he just brings up my faults from the past that have hurt him.. so I’ve given up trying to make him see what a monster he becomes through his anger.

But then I think of all the times he has cheered me up. He cooked romantic dinners just for me, Once he came to visit me after he had a major operation while I was not allowed by my parents to visit him when he was in the hospital, he fought with his parents who were in financial difficulty to send him to a foreign country so he could be with me (he couldn’t afford to come anyway), he has stood up for me when others used to discourage me and more importantly hugs me and kisses me good night.
I always think of the good times to keep us going.