I’m not really sure as to if this is true or not just yet but I think i’m tired of being alone.
Not so tired maybe more of a sad feeling that i’m alone. But I don’t have that feeling normally because well, I’ve always been alone and I am happy that way. As in, I find comfort in being alone. I get very uncomfortable when I have to go out places or see people to ‘hang’. It’s just not for me. I’d rather do things that others can’t really partake in. Or that they won’t partake in rather.. I feel so much like an alien on this planet. I spend my time studying people, behavior, mind manipulation, beliefs, anything. I like studying people and learning how people are supposed to be. I just am not what I am supposed to be and I find it had to actually communicate or hold onto a person because .. I don’t really know why. Over the years though.. I always hear the same things said to me. It’s haunting almost.. I feel like a wanderer and a watcher. Like I can’t really partake in the world. I feel like I am one with the world but when it comes to interacting with it and with the people of it it’s just not there for me. So I find myself studying how to become closer, how do I speak to humans, why are humans thinking the way they do, why do they do the things they do, and why am I not doing those things or why am I not in that norm feeling.. I don’t like admitting to this, but it hurts to see bonds between people. Any kind really, I’ll see families together, husband, wife, kids, together. Couples too but they don’t bother me nearly as much as best friends..
I guess I should stop there. Maybe i’m just envious because i’m a cold blunt person without even trying. I don’t mean to be, it’s just how I see things and how I understand them.. For what they are. So what if i’m blunt… How can being truthful be a bad thing that pushes people away. I feel like the truth is all I want from people, why are others not the same? How am I always the bad guy when I feel like what I do is absolutely right. I’m lost somewhere and something is just not going off.

Now i’m going off, I lost my train of thought.. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this AT WORK! AGH