It’s been 3 months and I miss him. I never had the opportunity to tell him that I love him. I judged him, had so many expectations, and life circumstances drained me. Chris was once my prince. When grandpapa was dying why did he have to react with LoL. Why couldnt he get vaccinated earlier and even help me out like other men help their partners. Why couldnt he take action so that we wouldn’t be apart like this. When he didn’t introduce me properly to his good friends. The limited reciprocation. My insecurities festered and crystallised. Now my heart is broken. The pain is endless. Dulling it with whiskey didn’t help. Dulling it with pointless events, friendships don’t help. Life is but a husk, empty. The happiest days of my life were with him. The day trip was the best day trip I’ve experienced. The ability to converse with another soul for hours on end. It’s all moot. And impossible now. Chris my prince doesn’t exist any longer. He is not a Guo Jing.