I know I saw only what I wanted to see. I wanted you to be good to be my friend, but you were not. You never even tried though you knew how much I loved you. I don’t know the reason why you were so mean and I it is probably better if I didn’t. I tried so hard to see only the good in you and I was afraid to find out how you were not even close to what I wanted and needed. Now I know you were not. You were never my friend, not even close. I will never tell you this, I don’t want a friend I will have to tell how to love me. I am just happy I never told you how much I loved you cos you would find a way to hurt me even more. If you really loved me it would have been easy and we would have been friends for more than five years now. The truth is I never really loved you, I loved the person I wanted you to be, so it could have been anyone. Not a big deal. I just wanted to try one last time to see if you were the one I needed so I would’t think I am missing something but again you proved you are not. Though I wish so much that you are, because now after one more terrible dissapointment I doubt I will ever find the friend I needed so much. Why do people always dissapoint me, why did you have to. Wish you were a better person but . I hate that I always have to get hurt 1000 times before I realise someone is not a good person and that I always want to belive that people are better than they really are. I just need to remember that you are not what I wanted and you are not what I needed, but no human being really is , so you’re nothing better than the rest just another useless being in a mass of idiots shallow as a shallow plate. This is it, I have to accept it and live with it.