I’m so done with myself. I f****** hate myself, because when I was younger – and I guess I didn’t realize it back then – I talked my younger sister to try and figure out stuff due to pornographic content I got to. In the end I didn’t penetrate and backed out quick, but I can’t fix that. I can’t give that section of innocence I took from her, and half of these days I want my head on a pike. I don’t have the courage to come forward to her about it, or anyone else.
And yet I refuse to forget. I can’t forget but I can’t admit it aloud. I just wish I could finally admit it so that she can get closure.
I don’t know what to do anymore.