I lost someone who i have wanted for so long . He made me so happy , he distracted me from reality . i loved him i would of never gave up on him but he told me to stop caring basically told me to start loving him but thats the thing i cant i dont want to hes the only thing i have , my family dont know i have no friends im alone and calling out for help honestly just want to die or even sleep and dont wake up . im so alone and i cant even shake this feeling anymore. i told him i hate him i didnt mean it , i can barely truly show him how much i truly love him because im so fucked up i need help but cant tell no one whats really going on . Stuck in my head most of the time i cant shut it off at night its worst , the pain , the loneliness is worst . Got worst like i cant physically feel the pain or show it but its their . Like im died but im not . i need help . i always f*** up . im always so angry. Failing school my mind wont stop working i hate being awake cause i feel everything when i sleep i feel everything lift off my chest . im in pain so much .