Help. I am not in serious danger, but I feel like my health is quite bad. I am bad at relaying information. I just want to know someone else is out there.

4 years

304 Views

Help.

I am not in serious danger, but I feel like my health is quite bad. I am bad at relaying information. I just want to know someone else is out there.

I guess good luck to everybody. I need help =/

The best way I can try to describe this situation I am in, it is like my Dad is too busy with work, my Mom for some reason has a difficult time understanding the basic facts of my circumstances. If my Mom gets frustrated with me, my Dad basically just reassures her and everything I tried to tell them goes out the window. If I try to talk to my Dad, he just gets upset and “pushes me away.” I guess he gave up on me a long time ago I am not sure.

I think maybe they are just overwhelmed. But, I feel like what is happening to me is not right but at the same time, basically what I have, people would see it as a mental illness. Once you say those words mental illness, to other people I feel, you are dead to them. You aren’t an actual human being at that point.

I don’t go to doctors or anything.

From what I can tell, yes, I have some issues obviously. I seem to have some issues on some level with depression, anxiety, borderline personality, OCD type stuff maybe.

I feel like that part of me, is what it is. I can deal with it with experience and different medicines and lifestyle choices, regular exercise, and things like this.

I am sensitive to chemicals and certain foods. If I get a reaction, it is like this “inflammation” type of feeling that takes a while to go away, maybe like a headache kind of. But while it happens I am basically just curling up into a ball, going, ow, ow, ow, ow. Luckily, I find that if I can find out what might be giving me a reaction, I can try to do something about it. Like, my shirt might be a little dirty, and it is giving me a reaction. Could be something on my skin. An item in the room. If it is something I ate, I just have to kind of wait it out. I smoke weed to help with the inflammation and mood. If the problem is like a dirty shirt or something, I can just take it off, and take a shower to clean myself off and the whole “process” of the pain goes away.

So I guess on some level I understand I don’t think this stuff is really causing damage, but I seem to react to it everytime.

In the past I noticed my intestine issues would get worse the more stressed out I was. So I would eat like a banana and some cereal, if I was stressed out for a day or so, and I ate the food, my digestion would be awful and I would get like IBS symptoms. When another time I would be relaxed and calm and the symptoms wouldn’t really be there.

Little things set me off. The wind. The sound of a clock ticking. A loud sound. It’s like it scratches a wound inside of me. Right now the wind is blowing hard and my door is like moving back and forth from the air pressure or wind moving through the room. Like, the door is shut, but within the frame it is like, I don’t know how to describe, this is where I s*** at describing things. The door is like shaking and banging within the frame I don’t know how to say it. But, difficult to think and process things right now.

But ya, little things like this happen, and I basically become like a 2nd grader. I am going to try and end this as it is too painful to attempt to concentrate and too painful to try to keep thinking, I know this makes no sense, be glad that it doesn’t for you. It still doesn’t make sense to me but it seems to be the case all the time. I want to keep thinking, and keep typing, but my mind I just can’t think new ideas. It is difficult to describe while it is happening, that is a part of it I think. It is like confusion on a level. Anyhow, sorry, don’t waste any more of your time reading this s***, good night and good luck. Sorry if this is all retarded.

New Confession

After my dad passed away me and my mother took a trip back to Ohio so I could drop her off at her sister’s house.. I got to saint louis missouri and we couldn’t find a hotel to say at so I pull over in a rest area and parked in the back. We both got in the back of the van and fell asleep. I woke up wet so I opened up the back of the van and took all my clothes off. I woke up my mother and she did the same. She laid back down and I got in behind her and I got a hard on. My mother put her hand back behind her and knew I had one. I started playing with her t*** and then her c***. She said I don’t think we should be doing this
I told her that both of us needed this. She rolled over on her back and I got on top of her and she put me inside her. I started off slow and then fast. I could tell she was c******. Then again and then again. That’s when I put myself really deep inside her and came. It felt so good c****** inside her. We talked about it the rest of the way and said that we should do it more when she comes back home. And then she tells me that dad and her knew about the guy up the street making movies with me and his daughter. I didn’t think any one knew about that. There was even times that me and him had s**. I would s*** him off and he did the same to me. Mostly it was me and his daughter having s**. Mom said that her and dad would watch us. They were looking thru holes in the wall and after he was done mom and dad had s** with the wife and him. Mom said that she has all the tapes. I said even the ones that me and him having s**
She said yes and the ones of you and he’s wife. She said that dad help him sell a lot of them to people. Mom said she had copies of all of them. She would show me were they are when she comes home. I played a couple of them and she had all of them. Even ones with mom and dad having s** with them. Mom asked me if I enjoyed being with him. I told her yes I did. It was fun sucking him off and him c****** I’m my mouth. He did c** a lot. They moved away and mom and dad never saw them again.

Related Confessions

today has been an awful day. I won’t go into the full specifics but I feel like a failure for the actions of others and how they harmed me professionally and mentally. It came to a head when an act of kindness from one person nearly became a guilt they would carry. a lady stopped so I could cross the road. she had the right of way and didn’t have to stop. but she did. the person behind her whipped onto the shoulder of the road and around her nearly hitting me. had I walked faster, had i not been watching one persons act of kindness would have been a guilt that weighed on them. The worst part is I am not sure if am upset at the impatience of the person who nearly hit me, or disappointed I didn’t move faster.