I helped my best friend get a boyfriend. Considering her boyfriend is one of my friends, I was more than willing to set them up. From giving love advice when I’ve never been in a relationship to helping one figure out what the other likes, it was really easy to be caught in the middle. But, I’m actually really happy for them, and I don’t think my sadness stems from jealousy. I think it stems from the question, “When will I ever be someone’s first choice?” or “Who would ever put me first life that?” And you might be thinking, “Someone out there must think you’re their first choice,” but everyone around me has someone they can depend on. I feel like all I can depend on is myself. Sure I have my parents, but I just feel like I’m an obligation to them. All my cousins have their siblings and my other friends have their best friends to rely on. I had my best friend, but I feel like I’m losing her. And is my best friend really even my best friend? I feel like we’ve just labeled ourselves as such because we’ve known each other for so long. And our friendship isn’t one where we can talk for hours on end. I’ve noticed that all we ever talk about is guys or school. I just wish I can find my person. I don’t even want it to be a romantic relationship. I just want something where we get each other, where we just click. I don’t want to tell her to stop talking about them (her and her boyfriend) because I don’t want her to stop talking about something that makes her happy. But I can’t help but feel left out and alone. I’m making this seem more dramatic than it is. It’s really fine, genuinely. I’ll get over it in 3-5 business days. I just wanted to get this off my chest. And this is cheaper than therapy loll