feeling pathetic. forgot to get the gas for the car now its a holiday. it will cost and though it is not of trouble i messed up. slept mostof the day after noon yesterday and masterbated again and again. its getting troublesome. a good job but not from my field and its troublesome. enjoy it too but the problem and pressure is for a carear in the filed. nobody seems happy with. i want to say it that leave me happy where i am . more concenred for future life established life. irritating adn drpressing and anxiety is taking tis toll on me. now applying for somewhere else too. wtf. this is messed up and i can;t forgive mysel for someting si did as a child and again as a child 9 and 12 years is childhood. and its all messed up in the head.