Sad to say that my deep feelings of guilt brought me to the point that I agreed with my family to be castrated so that my problem would be ended for good.

5 years

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Sad to say that my deep feelings of guilt brought me to the point that I agreed with my family to be castrated so that my problem would be ended for good. To bring a finality to the hurt I allowed for the request that my sister in law be the one to both castrate me and cut nerves at the base of my p**** so that my p**** was permanently numb of any feeling. I also allowed for some other family members to be present for closure purposes. The results are exactly what they wanted. Much anger has been quelled on their part and much of my guilt is gone. It’s not perfect with them but I am certain that they are satisfied with the punishment of it and with the noticeable changes in me.

New Confession

I’m a teen. How can I do it* with no pain. It’s hard for me to access to the stuff. (It=death) I’m exhausted. My family hates me. My friends are always stepping on me. I’m very fat and very ugly. I do sh. A need a cheap, not painful and accessible way. I need a hug. I used to let myself get groomed by older men. I loved the attention but I felt dirty. I blocked anyone if they ever asked for nudes. My grades are horrible. I work hard. I swear I do. But I’m so stupid. I already tried to do it* several times. It always failed and they were very painful. I can’t access to any pill. I’m probably mentally ill but no one will notice that because no one cares. I’m desperate find a way. My only escape from reality is eating. But now I’m f****** obese, ugly and getting bullied. No men will ever even like me. No one loves me as a friend despite how much I put effort in the friendship. For the last time. I’m begging you for a way out. The world is not made for me

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