I hate my mother more than anyone on this planet, it’s horrible to say but it’s true. She has a mental problem, I swear. She feels as if the world is out to get her and that everyone owes her something. Her life is based off of lies, she has different people helping her out with money or pain pills and to each person she has a different story. All she does is lie and what’s worst of all she has brought me inside of her lies, and I’ve been part of them since I was 14 (I’m now 19) and I know I could leave and have nothing to do with her ever again but I have to stay, my younger siblings need me. I have a disease that puts me into constant pain, amd instead of taking me to a doctor she just started giving me pills when I was 16, so now I’m addicted to pain pills and I know it was wrong but it almost made things easier. Easier to be around her and to deal with it all. I’ve tried to kill myself and it didn’t work. I have to try so hard to kiss her a** because when we fight, she says the most hurtful things. She’s like an immature teenage girl, she says the most fucked up things, and I don’t understand how she can be okay with saying these things to her own daughter. Regardless of the hate, I would never say these things to her, as much as I’ve thought about it, I just can’t. I refuse to stoop tobher level, I’m better than that. I feel worthless in life, I hate myself and I just don’t know how to fix it, or how to be done.