I will be turning 18 in 7 months.

As I look back on my younger years, I honestly wish I did a lot differently. I don’t recall ever having a fun childhood even though I had plenty of means to get out and do things. I never had friends because I was so anti-social. I never did very well in school. I never did fun or daring things. And it’s all my fault for simply choosing to be a dull and anti-social loser.

I sometimes wish I could get one more chance to have a normal, fun childhood. One where I actually kept a friend or two. One where I actually made memories that I’d think highly of for the rest of my life. One where I learned from my mistakes instead of making the same ones over and over again.

And now, after all that time flew by, I’m a dropout, unemployed, and overweight. And I have nobody to blame but myself for all of this. Knowing that I have wasted nearly a quarter of my life doing nothing but keeping to myself and never venturing out to do fun things is honestly painful.

I just hope it’s not too late for me to find some semblance of innocence within me.