i'm a girl, and i had a friend. lets call her jess. so me and jess met each other when i moved to her school in the 4th grade. we didn't become friends

4 years

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i’m a girl, and i had a friend. lets call her jess. so me and jess met each other when i moved to her school in the 4th grade. we didn’t become friends till the 5th. she is so beautiful, and was a great friend. i already had thoughts of same s** attraction, and as we grew closer tbh i started to like her. now hear this part, she is straight or claims to be, but i swear i felt her attraction too. she would unnecessarily touch me all the time, more than her other friends. she would want to be closer to me, like outside if we were playing, sleepovers, or in general everywhere. it wasn’t constantly tho which is good? anyways, she got suuuper close to my face very often, and the closest she ever got was when i was at her house for her sisters (she was a good friend, no attraction just a fun person) 13th or 14th birthday. she got so close that if we got any closer we’d be kissing. i only pulled away because her sister was on her bed on the other side of the room, if she wasnt there we wouldve kissed that day. now when we were around 13 i said i had a crush, and made her guess, she said a name or two then she said “me?” and i said something else but it wasn’t an answer. then she said a name then “um me?” and i said “nah” and then she spammed other guys name from our class like anthony noah dakota n so on. after i said its food. and she laughed. but i feel like she wanted me to say yes when she said “me”. then part of me feared shed drop me and it be all ruined. the tension was insane when we were near eachother all the time and thinking back i shouldve taken that leap. around 14 my depression got severe after moving away from her school in 2016. i guess i started acting weird and all and by 2018 her and her sister stopped hanging out with me. christmas eve 2019. the worst day of my life. i got drunk and confessed all my feelings to her. she said im sorry i like boys. and i poured my heart out. i didnt get a reply till about 2 months later when she said “i had to think long about it” and she told me that she got upset that i said it was her fault i got attracted to her. when tbh if she acted like all our other friends it wouldn’t of happened. so now were in grade 12, go to separate schools and only have eachother on snapchat because i added her on her 17th bday. suprised she added me back tbh. in conclusion. i honestly think she felt the same, she just has a too big of an ego to admit it or cares more about impression. but my confession is basically i am still painfully in love with her. 5 years later and my heart still flames for her the same. they say it takes half the amount of time to get over someone, so im due to be out of love dec 24th 2022.

New Confession

After my dad passed away me and my mother took a trip back to Ohio so I could drop her off at her sister’s house.. I got to saint louis missouri and we couldn’t find a hotel to say at so I pull over in a rest area and parked in the back. We both got in the back of the van and fell asleep. I woke up wet so I opened up the back of the van and took all my clothes off. I woke up my mother and she did the same. She laid back down and I got in behind her and I got a hard on. My mother put her hand back behind her and knew I had one. I started playing with her t*** and then her c***. She said I don’t think we should be doing this
I told her that both of us needed this. She rolled over on her back and I got on top of her and she put me inside her. I started off slow and then fast. I could tell she was c******. Then again and then again. That’s when I put myself really deep inside her and came. It felt so good c****** inside her. We talked about it the rest of the way and said that we should do it more when she comes back home. And then she tells me that dad and her knew about the guy up the street making movies with me and his daughter. I didn’t think any one knew about that. There was even times that me and him had s**. I would s*** him off and he did the same to me. Mostly it was me and his daughter having s**. Mom said that her and dad would watch us. They were looking thru holes in the wall and after he was done mom and dad had s** with the wife and him. Mom said that she has all the tapes. I said even the ones that me and him having s**
She said yes and the ones of you and he’s wife. She said that dad help him sell a lot of them to people. Mom said she had copies of all of them. She would show me were they are when she comes home. I played a couple of them and she had all of them. Even ones with mom and dad having s** with them. Mom asked me if I enjoyed being with him. I told her yes I did. It was fun sucking him off and him c****** I’m my mouth. He did c** a lot. They moved away and mom and dad never saw them again.

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today has been an awful day. I won’t go into the full specifics but I feel like a failure for the actions of others and how they harmed me professionally and mentally. It came to a head when an act of kindness from one person nearly became a guilt they would carry. a lady stopped so I could cross the road. she had the right of way and didn’t have to stop. but she did. the person behind her whipped onto the shoulder of the road and around her nearly hitting me. had I walked faster, had i not been watching one persons act of kindness would have been a guilt that weighed on them. The worst part is I am not sure if am upset at the impatience of the person who nearly hit me, or disappointed I didn’t move faster.