I am a happily married functional asexual.

But, I have a non-standard fetish paraphilia relating to capital punishment. Specifically, I find fantasizing about being executed arousing.

I also find certain jackets – primarily shiny quilted jackets (a.k.a. puffer jackets) – visually appealing. That is, I like to look at them, but they don’t cause any arousal. A bit more worrisome is that I also like to look at (fully clothed) pre-teen boys. Again, this is a visual appeal with no s***** feelings or arousal.

But, I do fear that if some things had gone just wrong in my life, at some point there could have been a very dangerous intersection between these three which could have led me to do something horrible, in part to experience my seeming ultimate fantasy.

At times, it scares me that the wrong things could still happen.