I’m disgusted that I had this dream. Her lips were a little rosebud. Her hair smelled like incense and cinnamon. I wanted her so much. I grabbed her by

5 years

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I’m disgusted that I had this dream.
Her lips were a little rosebud. Her hair smelled like incense and cinnamon. I wanted her so much. I grabbed her by her tiny waist and kissed her. It was intoxicating. Her luminous eyes stared wide in fear. Of course I’d never want to scare this beautiful girl. I only loved her so much and couldn’t control myself. I lifted up her long black skirt, revealing her moon white legs. I was so hard it was almost causing me pain. I unzipped myself and continued kissing her. She was frozen. I begged her forgiveness but I couldn’t stop myself. I pushed into her and instantly orgasmed like I never had in my whole life. But I couldn’t stop. Her eyes were glistening with tears. I told her I loved her and I was so sorry but I was out of control. I continued to thrust inside of her silky body. The strap of her top had slid down, revealing the top her of her breast. I couldn’t help but touch her. She had sealed her eyes tight by this point, tears pouring down her lovely cheeks. I hated myself so much but I was addicted to touching her, being inside of her. I orgasmed again. The scent of her skin and hair was intoxicating. She was softer than I ever believed possible. This angel, this gorgeous creature was in my arms. I wanted to die knowing I’d hurt her but my selfishness consumed me. Again, I spilled my filth into her body. I finally had to stop myself. I knew after this I’d have to find a gun and end it for the sin I’d committed against her. When I saw her lying there, her lipstick smeared and her makeup running down her eyes, it broke my heart. But she instantly forgave me. She told me not to hurt myself. God help me.

New Confession

i injected ketamine into my right deltoid and realized i had no water to drink. by the time i was in the kitchen i was dissociated as hell trying to remind myself im a person in a kitchen trying to get ice cubes and filtered water into my tumbler

it hit much much harder than it did when i tried it in my vastus lateralis. i injected nearly 80mg which is over 1mg/kg for me. im still feeling it a little. apparently the comedown is longer than IV but way less than IN. its 3am now and i have some powder and some sterile solution left in the vial to inject into my vein. ive been trying to get the out of body ketamine experience during my trips but still havent gotten there during my last few for a while now even with needles involved. i was a little closer tonight though, without overwhelming my system or anesthetizing myself

i usually take it once every few months or so. i take medication with a needle every week so im used to them but not used to plunging the bigger thicker ones down deep into my muscle like that. the painful pressure feeling is hard to get used to. and the deep ache that lingers for a few days. i got a little sweaty and lightheaded seeing and feeling an inch of stainless steel sink into my body. there’s that animal instinct part of me that doesn’t want to shove metal into myself and cringes at what im doing but another part too that finds fascination in the sensation and resistance to the needle in the different layers of tissue.

i’ve found it fun and interesting to experiment with all the ways of administering this drug and learning more about my body along the way. exactly where the arteries run down my arms or where major nerves might be hiding.

i dont really have something to finish this off with. it was fun, painful, and interesting. the comedown for IM seems to be 2-3 hours long so far. i stayed up very late to do this. i may augment with nitrous next time.

-108

Related Confessions

When a woman starts making scratching sounds with her fingernails on objects, I get turned on and captivated. Especially hard table scratching. Bonus points if marks are left on the table.

When I was in elementary school and high school I would always be captivated when a female classmate would start scratching on objects like their desk or chair. I would put one of my ears on the table to savour the scratching sounds. They probably thought it was weird and creepy, which I wouldn’t blame them for that. Respecting others is essential to me.

My EA in school would also sometimes scratch the back of my seat and I loved the sounds and vibrations that made. I especially got aroused by the sounds she made scratching a pencil. She probably wouldn’t have done this stuff if she knew what it does to me.

I felt like I won the lottery when I discovered ASMR at 12 years old and I’ve been watching it ever since. I’ve started noticing that just the act of writing my s***** desire arouses me.