people say that i’m a dull person. i’m a woman. and i’m 20. i have a very unattractive face and figure. i’m short and looks like a 13yr old. dull and sad eyes. have severe dark circles. unevenly tanned skin. hardly have eyebrows. big nose. people hardly understand or hear what i’m saying cause of my low voice. and much more.

once a make up artist told that he has never seen a face so unattractive and dull in his life when he was doing my make up for a dance competition. he said that no expression can pop up on my face. that was too insulting because I LOVE DANCING! but i still cannot believe him. because everyone say that i’m a good dancer and my expressions are s*** and unique. no boasting ok?! but his words is still a pain in my a** cause that is not a good thing to hear as a person who likes dancing and as a lady.

anyway, yesterday i had a family wedding. and there i saw many ladies in their 20’s who were so pitch perfect and s***. they looked so healthy. and there i was. dull and dark, taking a corner seat, hiding, all alone in a crowded room. i looked hideous. no matter how hard i try to look pretty, i always end up being ugly. in fact, a small boy around 3 yr old came to me and said that some men called me ‘ugly and crazy looking woman’. all of the aunties near me started laughing as he said that. i felt like crying. but just smiled at him and to all others. i saw a gang of men and women staring at me and laughing. they send that boy to me.
the wedding couples hardly smiled at me as i wished them, even though she used to claim i was a best sister to her from 15 long years. it hurted me more. i had food alone and left early.

i cried a lot after reaching home. i was insulted. i was hurted. it was so much to bear. my mom wants me to get married. but the truth is i’m gonna stay like this for more years. not because i want it so but men feel that i’m ugly and dumb. no men ever approached me. they mock me and insult me. i respect everyone but why do they do this to me?

i’m afraid i’m gonna die unsuccessful and full of bad memories.