You ever see yourself spiraling down a path of self destruction and you realize that you’ve been ignoring the alarms that were warning you that this is going to end badly? I do. I have been brushing all of my stresses and problems under a rug and today I realized that if I had a quicker way to end it, I would. I’m the friend that is always 100% on everyone else’s side, but not my own. I’m harder on myself. I’m not where I want to be in life. This isn’t what I imagined myself to be when I was 10 years old. I wish life had a reset button, but mine would probably be broke anyway.

I have never lived for myself, and with my need to make everyone else happy, I probably will never live for myself unless I move away from what is stunting this personal growth.

I think I need more than just help at this point, and I realized this as a person who I didn’t like was able to point this out. I thought I hid my pain well, how did you see me? I didn’t smile bright enough? Did my eyes betray me? Asking now doesn’t matter, just like I don’t, and no, I don’t need you to remind me that I am significant. I’m not. I didn’t change your life.