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Shelly was still asleep at 9:30 when I started cooking our breakfast bacon with potatoes nearly done in another pan. That woke her up and she came into the kitchen Looking very alluring with her sleep tossled hair wearing only her sleep shirt that barely covered her private area. She wrapped her arms around me from behind stroking my bare chest and belly saying “Good morning my s*** brother.” I turned into her, “Good morning my very s*** and beautiful sister.” We kissed three times briefly with smiles. “Thought we were going to shower first?” She said. “You were sleeping the day away and I’m hungry. I can slow this down if you want me to.” Gently stroking the fine line of hair on her pubic mound. Running my finger up her slit firm enough not to tickle her. “Mmmm no I’m going to wash up a little, I’m hungry too.” She pecked my lips and turned to go. “Here you are.” She said and lifted her shirt to wiggle her nice a** and her hips that were beginning to get their female curves. I turned the bacon and taters and turned the heat down on both. My d*** was semi hard in my sleep shorts.

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I’m tempted to give up on her and I I feel like I’ve been trying so long and litteeally I put in the effort. She doesn’t even try to communicate back. I don’t think she even knows I tried to reach her. The messages are unread. I’m blocked on fb. I’ve spent a year even trying to reach her on different social media on off. Tried to rebuild start from scratch. Impress her compliment her and say how I truly feel. All those months I spent on my knees praying for her for and for us that was 2 f****** years ago. Then you tease me with a vision of us and tell me well have kids and make me earn them by doing good deeds just basically keep doing it till something happens then you tease me with how she looked pregnant and no one told me s*** for months I’m left alone wondering if anything even happened with a woman I love who won’t speak to me let alone even add me on social media who was probably carrying my kid that was my gift of my love to her. Then more months go by I know nothing no one tells me anything. I spent months begging the real jesus for clarity tell me what is going on felt like their souls exist and don’t understand where I’m under this god that can’t possibly be jesus while trying to find jesus for 2 1/2 godamn years of working my a** off obsessing over what in the name of God I could possibly be doing wrong. Months and months of devotion and bible studies and all those prayers and trying to learn and fun. Months I was tormented for I think almost a year and I still get tormented. Everything I have been through in faith is so unfair. Then I saw recently she didn’t even look pregnant. This god is such a jerk. I blame the real jesus every day for not helping me or my life not h3lping me understand what is going on leaving me on my own to try to figure everything out for a year or more. All the he’ll and torment I have gone through all the horrible things I have gone through in the last 2 years. My life genuinely feels so bad that this year I finally looked for a diff god yet still believing In Jesus bc it just that gofamn awful it shouldn’t be this hard. I’ll curse you every day jesus for not helping me all those times I seemed the real jesus not this thunder thing or satan. This is bs. You have nonidea how many times u even asked for deliverance from things
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