5 years
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I kept my o***** on edge for over a half an hour last night thinking of having s** with my sister. She is lucky 13 to my 16 and not only it she pretty, she is also beginning to grow her b**** enough that mom mentioned that she was going to take her shopping for a bra this weekend. I don’t think I was supposed to hear that. Michelle and I were playing with each other forever. Then almost a week ago she stopped wacking me off and sucking on me, and she stopped letting me touch and lick and s*** her all over, or even h****** on each other rubbing our privates together. She had always enjoyed us making each other come and didn’t have a good reason for us to stop. I was sure the house was asleep and went to her room at 1 am. We usually played with each other during the day. She was about impossible to wake up but last night she was naked from the waist down rubbing off. There was a lot of moonlight to see by. She welcomed me to her bed apologizing for stopping our fun. I took over and ate her tasty little p**** till she juiced my face coming. She gave me a b******. Then as we snuggled she told me about a boy she liked and wanted to play with him, but he was a jerk, very grabby and rough and ignorant about girls. She promised that we would never stop again and that she wanted to go all the way with me today as soon as we were alone and showered together like usual, after we made breakfast. A Truth

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I’m tempted to give up on her and I I feel like I’ve been trying so long and litteeally I put in the effort. She doesn’t even try to communicate back. I don’t think she even knows I tried to reach her. The messages are unread. I’m blocked on fb. I’ve spent a year even trying to reach her on different social media on off. Tried to rebuild start from scratch. Impress her compliment her and say how I truly feel. All those months I spent on my knees praying for her for and for us that was 2 f****** years ago. Then you tease me with a vision of us and tell me well have kids and make me earn them by doing good deeds just basically keep doing it till something happens then you tease me with how she looked pregnant and no one told me s*** for months I’m left alone wondering if anything even happened with a woman I love who won’t speak to me let alone even add me on social media who was probably carrying my kid that was my gift of my love to her. Then more months go by I know nothing no one tells me anything. I spent months begging the real jesus for clarity tell me what is going on felt like their souls exist and don’t understand where I’m under this god that can’t possibly be jesus while trying to find jesus for 2 1/2 godamn years of working my a** off obsessing over what in the name of God I could possibly be doing wrong. Months and months of devotion and bible studies and all those prayers and trying to learn and fun. Months I was tormented for I think almost a year and I still get tormented. Everything I have been through in faith is so unfair. Then I saw recently she didn’t even look pregnant. This god is such a jerk. I blame the real jesus every day for not helping me or my life not h3lping me understand what is going on leaving me on my own to try to figure everything out for a year or more. All the he’ll and torment I have gone through all the horrible things I have gone through in the last 2 years. My life genuinely feels so bad that this year I finally looked for a diff god yet still believing In Jesus bc it just that gofamn awful it shouldn’t be this hard. I’ll curse you every day jesus for not helping me all those times I seemed the real jesus not this thunder thing or satan. This is bs. You have nonidea how many times u even asked for deliverance from things
You have no idea how many times I have tried to confess sins or talked to a priest. How much effort I have put into it Christianity and faith and these weird spiritual things I have gone through. I’ve spent 2 1 /2 years still trying ti understand visions even. And all this other stuff that I don’t understand (other spiritual things all kinds of stuff even dreams that were spiritual) and yeah I prayed about it yeah I talked to priest about it. Your Bible is useless on so many issues. Jesus is a damn moron and a jerk and clearly is f****** deaf