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Lesbians…. I was ahead of 2 of them in the grocery store yesterday, I am a good looking, straight, mid 40s man. As usual they were meh. Neither of them very attractive. The “woman” of the relationship was definitely not all that special, the “man” was the typical chubby boy haircut, not attractive at all as far as my standards go. I paid little attention to them, I noticed them. I was looking for corn starch. I’m making shrimp tacos. They were behind me looking at something else. I found the CS, but it was 1 type, 2 sizes, so I had to contemplate for a second, this is the first time I have ever bought Corn Starch, I might never use it again, I’m looking at the packaging. I glance back, the “women” looks over at her girlfriend almost sighed in annoyance that I was there looking at her as if “do something”…. In the way… as if SHE is going to do anything about that, so right away I let it be known that “I saw that…” by saying “Oh… I’m sorry… go ahead…” as I backed up to let them pass while I continue examining the container, They walk by, she (the a man, I think. I didn’t look up ) the “woman” says “sorry…” as they pass me. I literally it order and said nothing. When you don’t get a “no prob” or “no problem” out of me, you know I’m irritated.

It’s like, who the f*** are you? How rude and entitled do you have to be? If I was in that position and I was irritated by the 2 lesbians standing there looking at corn starch, I would turn and walk the f*** around or don’t go to the f****** grocery store during a pandemic? I’m wearing a mask, I don’t give too much of a s*** how close you are to me but also, how entitled do you need to be? What a b**** but it also reinforces my belief, I don’t want to be around gay people, and when it comes down to it, they don’t want to be around me either. There’s just nothing to relate or have in common. Literally nothing.

If that was my girlfriend looking at me like that because someone was standing there, I might reconsider, do I want to be around this entitled b****?

I wouldn’t date or marry a woman who is so passionate about lesbians either. That’s weird and retarded. I sure as hell wouldn’t be having s** with them or giving them my sperm while my f****** wife hides everyone from the ugliness. My d*** simply wouldn’t function. They are not worthy.

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I’m tempted to give up on her and I I feel like I’ve been trying so long and litteeally I put in the effort. She doesn’t even try to communicate back. I don’t think she even knows I tried to reach her. The messages are unread. I’m blocked on fb. I’ve spent a year even trying to reach her on different social media on off. Tried to rebuild start from scratch. Impress her compliment her and say how I truly feel. All those months I spent on my knees praying for her for and for us that was 2 f****** years ago. Then you tease me with a vision of us and tell me well have kids and make me earn them by doing good deeds just basically keep doing it till something happens then you tease me with how she looked pregnant and no one told me s*** for months I’m left alone wondering if anything even happened with a woman I love who won’t speak to me let alone even add me on social media who was probably carrying my kid that was my gift of my love to her. Then more months go by I know nothing no one tells me anything. I spent months begging the real jesus for clarity tell me what is going on felt like their souls exist and don’t understand where I’m under this god that can’t possibly be jesus while trying to find jesus for 2 1/2 godamn years of working my a** off obsessing over what in the name of God I could possibly be doing wrong. Months and months of devotion and bible studies and all those prayers and trying to learn and fun. Months I was tormented for I think almost a year and I still get tormented. Everything I have been through in faith is so unfair. Then I saw recently she didn’t even look pregnant. This god is such a jerk. I blame the real jesus every day for not helping me or my life not h3lping me understand what is going on leaving me on my own to try to figure everything out for a year or more. All the he’ll and torment I have gone through all the horrible things I have gone through in the last 2 years. My life genuinely feels so bad that this year I finally looked for a diff god yet still believing In Jesus bc it just that gofamn awful it shouldn’t be this hard. I’ll curse you every day jesus for not helping me all those times I seemed the real jesus not this thunder thing or satan. This is bs. You have nonidea how many times u even asked for deliverance from things
You have no idea how many times I have tried to confess sins or talked to a priest. How much effort I have put into it Christianity and faith and these weird spiritual things I have gone through. I’ve spent 2 1 /2 years still trying ti understand visions even. And all this other stuff that I don’t understand (other spiritual things all kinds of stuff even dreams that were spiritual) and yeah I prayed about it yeah I talked to priest about it. Your Bible is useless on so many issues. Jesus is a damn moron and a jerk and clearly is f****** deaf