I Made A Cutting-centered “first Aid” Travel Kit. Instead of band-aids and neosporin etc that most kits have, I have gauze and wraps and rubbing alcohol (for the blade) and iodine. It’s basically a cutting kit, just without the blade itself.

Because if I get bad enough that I’d resort to grabbing X-acto blades from the school bookstore and finding a relatively remote restroom to cut in, I’m pretty sure lack of supplies to take care of those wounds wouldn’t stop me. But they’d definitely lessen the damage. And risk of blood seeping through my jeans.

I’m not trying to kill myself. In some twisted way I’m trying to save myself. And you can tell me that it’s a bad horrible coping mechanism, but it’s still a coping mechanism, and when I’m like pre-suicidal (not in imminent danger or anything, but I’m drawing uncomfortably close) and it feels like everything is falling down around me, it’s hard to worry a whole lot about superficial marks on my skin. I’d rather most of my energy go towards trying to improve my life and psyche than protecting my already imperfect flesh from myself.

Which is of course not to say that cutting is good. I know damn well that there are better ways to cope (not that any seem usable at the moment.). But. It doesn’t make sense to me to put a lot of energy into not doing it when the urge is there. At least not generally, and when it’s to a safe degree and taken care of. It’s more the cause that needs to be worried about.
Although, maybe that’s me. Apparently some people end up in almost an addiction cycle, and then it might make sense to fight it directly. If the cause becomes past cutting. Mine has always kinda ebbed and flowed naturally with other mental stress, though.