they laugh and think it’s amusing and funny that i still like you, that’s all it is. i find your hate amusing, imagine you’re going to be one of those crotchety old men who spends his time with a frown on his face like early Ebenezer, spewing your hate for anyone who thinks they’re happy. your deep seated past abuse isn’t hidden from me, it continues even today because you are the one who has still not removed yourself from danger, letting them see that sickness you carry just visibly enough so that you occasionally get the beating you feel you deserve. i am not sure why it bothers you i’ve chosen to be poor to safeguard the people i love, perhaps because i will no longer throw money at your face. these are not hurtful things, not the things that will be on my heart when i leave this world so i’m not going to busy myself worshipping the wrong things. i’m not going to stop playing with them, they fulfill my s***** needs and they are lonely really, so everybody wins. you need to be brought down to know your place sometimes my love. you have many things to be proud of so leave others alone. no need to spew hate because of your anger of how things have landed. it’s not an indefinite thing, just something you’re enduring at the moment. i love you
