Search site

a pain, Other
13 years
x
324 Views

I just want to know he loves me. I want to know I mean something to him, he’s basically of the mind that I should know he loves me until he tells me differently. If I died tommorrow is that gonna be good enough? “She knew I loved her or I would’ve said differently.” Is it so much to ask for an I love you once in a while? Am I asking too much for the occasional hug or kiss instead of the playful swats or fake punches like we are in grade school? We are adults! We’ve been together over a decade but all that means to me is he hasn’t found d a better offer yet. F*** I should’ve known. I picked out our wedding song, on our wedding night he jumped on top and pumped away for a couple minutes then went to sleep. But yet I love him, I just want to know he loves me too.

New Confession

There are not enough characters to express how exhausted I am with my life. I am a closeted homosexual living in a country where I cannot express myself freely, and it’s killing me. Every day, I feel like my true self is slowly disappearing while I continue trying to fit the part. I have to if I want to survive. You know what they do with people like me here. Everyone around me seems to be moving on with their lives, getting married, settling down, and building a life. It’s heartbreaking knowing that I can’t ever have that, at least not the way I want to. My parents are nosy and keep hinting at me getting married. I get extremely uncomfortable at even the suggestion of it. I keep postponing myself. I keep hiding. I keep myself from experiencing life. I am dead, not alive. And that is my problem. I keep asking myself until when? How long until I experience my first? How long until I can finally breathe? How long until I am truly free?

2 Views

Related Confessions

There are not enough characters to express how exhausted I am with my life. I am a closeted homosexual living in a country where I cannot express myself freely, and it’s killing me. Every day, I feel like my true self is slowly disappearing while I continue trying to fit the part. I have to if I want to survive. You know what they do with people like me here. Everyone around me seems to be moving on with their lives, getting married, settling down, and building a life. It’s heartbreaking knowing that I can’t ever have that, at least not the way I want to. My parents are nosy and keep hinting at me getting married. I get extremely uncomfortable at even the suggestion of it. I keep postponing myself. I keep hiding. I keep myself from experiencing life. I am dead, not alive. And that is my problem. I keep asking myself until when? How long until I experience my first? How long until I can finally breathe? How long until I am truly free?

2 Views