Two years ago, I met an amazing girl. One of those times when you meet a person and there’s a weird electricity under the surface of everything, like you know for some reason that you two will end up together. We fell in love and ended up in the most amazing relationship… that lasted a whopping 2 months because she moved away to go to school.
Two years later, I still love her. I’ve dated other girls and tried to forget about it (which is something that I accept that I will eventually do, even if it seems impossible right now.) She was an amazing girl, but had an underdeveloped sense of self-worth. I encouraged her to go out and live her life, assuring her all the while that she was amazing and that people were going to notice.
As I write this, I haven’t talked to her in a while. We haven’t severed contact officially, though I’ve been flirting with the idea, as it might be the healthiest thing to do given that I’m still not over her two years later. Today, she was tagged in a photo on facebook, probably unbeknownst to her, with a guy. Suffice it to say, it’s apparent that she and this guy are involved. The photo brought me an immense (albeit hypocritical) pain when I saw it. Not to sound trite, but I’m happy that she is living her life and overcoming her own expectations for herself. To sound even more trite, the girl deserves to be happy. But my need to confess is a torrent of various factors in this situation. It was s***** that we couldn’t be with one another, and it’s s***** that I still haven’t registered internally what I know to be truth. S**** really. I know this isn’t a particularly juicy confession, but goddamn it, I had to write it somewhere. Anywhere. I f****** love that girl. I know we don’t always get what we want in life, and I know I’m going to be over this someday, but for now, this f****** s****.
