I am amazing aren’t I? That’s part of the problem. It causes a lot of problems. Truth though I don’t think it’s really all that extraordinary. I don’t even try but it turns a person into a s*** magnet. It forces me to be alone because you can’t tell what’s real. Everyone wants something out of you, and it usually feels like a piece of your soul, and it’s not me that matters, it’s something I have attracted, which is exhausting. Whether they call themselves friends, or just some loser weasel I don’t care one way or another about, some schmuck I work with, who knows who I am for some reason. I attract good s***, everything really good that I have ever had one way or another from the start, sticks. It’s not “nothing” or forgettable. That’s the thing. It’s real s*** because that’s what I am and I don’t even try, its strong stuff but I attract it or am drawn to it and because if that I attract it and others see this and all of the sudden I’m your best bud even though it’s not about me. And then when they get it and they realize they can’t do what I did or don’t know how, guess who takes the flack?

But I am not surrounded by them. I keep it out and away as soon as I recognize it. You’re right, it is textbook definition of toxic. It’s a curse.