I have been feeling bad about being phased out by certain friends. It’s an unpleasant realiation that someone you respect and care about nolonger finds any value in you or your friendship. I think a lot of it comes down to the way our society is, we have assortive mating and I think we have assortive friendships only. People like to hang out with people who reflect themselves mostly, I think aspirational friendships are also a thing as we wish to catch the eye and approval of someone we want to be more like or share in their success. Then of course their are some friends who like to have a someone around who they feel superiour to.

I can’t say I’ve never let a friendship go before or aspired to be friends with someone I looked up to its probably also true that I don’t want to be friends with someone just for the sake of it, I don’t have much in common with a woman who gets her brows and lashes done, reads closer magazine and thinks a plastic crystal chandelier in her council house is glam. Its pure snobbery I know. The truth is that I am from the same place as these women they are my family but I don’t fit in with them but I don’t fit in with the middle class women either, the look down on me due to my accent and the area I live in.

Anyway friendship is overrated, you value it, invest in it, it influances your identity and self expectations but very few of them really mean anything. Mostly if you stop working so hard and just let go they drift away with not a backward glance. Many friendships are purely about convenience and who fits in with your life at that time.

Its liberating though to let go of it all to stop hoping and expecting for something more, I spent a long time worrying about what certain people thought of me but no more, now I am free to reinvent myself, make up my own rules because their is nobody to look down their nose at me anymore and make me feel worthless.