Me: My parents were physically and emotionally abusive and they blamed me for everything that went wrong in their lives, although that had nothing to do with me at all.

Thank you for taking the time to respond Richard. First and foremost, reading the recollection of your life was like looking into a mirror perfectly encapsulating what i can only describe as hell; the first glimpse of evil in the world coming from your own parents. all reason seems to melt away looking back… jesus, what a f****** circus. i was expecting to be torn to shreds or humiliated for opting to lose my soul, anything but sympathy, so i appreciate your message.

after a year of hardly any contact, my family is eager to fill in the spaces but it feels wrong. i’ve been treated like garbage by all three of them (middle sister, mother, and father) my whole life. lesser and as if i had to settle for affection from my own f****** family. i worry about being so far away from home. i can’t be around to offer any comfort to my nieces and nephews growing up in another generation of abuse… but is that really what i want to do with my life? to become another unhappy, narrowminded, frigid slave to the world at their hands? why should i find another way for me to become entangled with this hyena’s den of a family, inserting myself as a footnote when it was always clear i didn’t belong in their scheme?

but i digress. goalsetting has never been my forte, i coast about life as though in a fog. i don’t allow myself to dream or indulge in making myself happy so i’m here with no blueprint.
i’d be happy to see what you have to offer, Richard.