I was adopted when I was eleven. I’ve lived with my gaurdian now for six years, and there have been some really good times, but I think I’ve been damaged. My gaurdian has meant well in everything that they’ve done, but they’ve confined me and distorted me. I have no other family or friends. I have no community. I never go out or do anything. I’m alone and useless, and now my gaurdian is dying and I’m afraid. They’ve done everything for me while I’ve sat and whithered. They’ve done my laundry, paid the bills, given me food, and without them I have no home or money or means of survival. I’m worried about my well being, my ability to connect with other people, the way my life is going to turn out after they’re gone. It’s terrifying to imagine such a large world and to see yourself as one small isolated speck. They are the only person I have ever had, and I can’t even tell whether or not this relationship is unhealthy. I love them and they infuriate me, and every day I can feel their death hanging about the house and it encompasses me. I’m so afraid.
