I look at my wrist everyday. Part of me is embarrassed but part of me likes the scar. Because since you’ve been gone that knife cutting my wrist has been the ONLY thing that has felt real. I know you have battled with cutting for years and i decided to try the day after you left for bootcamp. i had never felt so alive. i felt something real. the only time i had felt something real was with my body pressed next to yours. your absence was my reason for cutting. and when you found out i was addicted. it was so hard to stop.your absence was the reason i stopped cutting… i stopped for you. it hurt you. I NEVER meant to hurt you. the only scar i actually obtained is across my wrist and i dont want you to see it when you come home.
IT HAS BEEN TWO MONTHS SINCE I HAVE CUT MYSELF! sometimes i want to and i feel the urge all the time at random times for no reason but I DONT CUT. I think about how hard bootcamp is for you right now, look at your picture and walk it off. i cant promise ill never cut again… but with you in my life i’ll damn sure try!
