The hour is late.
I cannot sleep.
I hear the clock ticking
tick…tock…tick… tock…
Like water dripping
into the stillness
breaking the silence
in my rippling thoughts.
I wonder…
Where have I gone wrong?
Why?

I let her pull me around
like a dead dog on a leash
scraping over the ground
blood trailing behind me
my glazed eyes gazing at her feet.
my soul gone
my happiness gone
nothing left but a shell
… well.
Except for this
gnawing anxiety
this festering anger
this sinking depression.
I imagine regaining my life
standing up
breaking the chains

I imagine crying NO MORE
Never again!
Leave, leave me be
And let me live without your wickedness.

But I open my mouth
and no sound comes out.
I bow my head
and obey her selfish, passive aggressive commands.

I am a slave
because of my meekness.
I am a wimp.

If I can’t stand up for myself
no one will.

These thoughts race
through my mind
as I try so hard to sleep.
Sleep… dream… dream of freedom.

Never.