I was raped by a fat woman called Christine when I just turned 17. She would prank-call my house too to ask if I was, "Going out" that night. Used to

6 years

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I was raped by a fat woman called Christine when I just turned 17.
She would prank-call my house too to ask if I was, “Going out” that night. Used to stalk me and watch me roll up my crisp packets and tie them into little bows (as I do) as she gleefully told me one day, the creepy c***.
She basically turned me gay and I am utterly repulsed by fat women to this day. I should have turned you into the police for r***, you hideous c***.
And by the way, I felt nothing. Couldn’t even feel the inside of your cavernous c***, you soul-less, fat monster. F*** *YOU*

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My wife knew i was a recovering s** addict when we dated, when we married, and knew that it stemmed from childhood maternal molestation many years ago. She knows i will not act out, that i love her too much to do that to her, and she knows to the degree any non s** addict can how exhausting the onslaught of compulsive intrusive s***** thoughts are. But she still rejects my sincere well motivated desire for surgical or chemical castration and i cannot understand why. We have a platonic relationship so it would be zero loss to either of us.