I call it painful because I was made to suffer because I loved their son . Me and he loved each other for 9 years. It was a long distance relationship for

5 years

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I call it painful because I was made to suffer because I loved their son . Me and he loved each other for 9 years. It was a long distance relationship for most of the time .. but we started meeting on regular terms only when we went abroad for further studies . Once we started working , it was again long distance.. but I used to travel frequently to see him just for 1 day 700$ for just few hours with him . And after 6 years of relationship.. I one fine day revealed my parents about our relationship.. and they were very supportive. But when I told him about my parents being okay to the relationship, he started his versions . His versions of convincing his parents and his sisters marriage in between. I said okay to everything. First he and his parents said , let’s see after his sisters marriage . After his sisters marriage, they all took a U turn and started criticizing me for my caste . If I have to cut short the caste story , we belong to the same clan but are sub dividends of their caste . And their surnames are just a bit better then ours. It’s been 3 years waiting for their parents acceptance and they find new ways to hurt me in every way and text me asking me to get married to someone else and don’t trouble them and leave their son.
I just want to ask this guy few questions , because he started showing his true colors only when I started asking him for marriage .

Questions :
1. Why did u love me when you knew ur family was complicated????
2 why did u spend time with me ??
3. Why did you give all false hopes ??? Do you even know how it feels to be rejected ??? Do you even know what it feels like when your dreams of marriage are shattered???
4 why did u use me every way ??? Be it career , be it financial???? Or be it anything ???
5. Dint you remember to take permissions from your parents when you loved me ???
6. Dint you realize I too have a sister behind me , when you said let gets married after your sisters marriage????
7. I have been literally begging you to stand for me and our relationship all these 3 years. And what did you do ?????
8. Why the hell did you play with my life ?????
9. Why dint you take your f****** families permission when you loved me ?????
I need an answer to all this . I have lost my mental stability because of youuu. F****** you and your parents. Ur sister speaks s*** about praying for our relationship and in reality, she never even intended to talk to me ????
Do you people even know how it feels to be betrayed ???? My family is worried about my personal life and mental health . What the f*** did I do to you ????? Why are you people harassing me like this????
Do I even deserve it ????
I only like I have committed a sin in being in this abusive respect less relationship , where I am only defined by my caste rather than what I have Achieved and where I stand on humanity grounds of my behaviour and my background.

I so so wish I could undo so many things in my life of being in this relationship.

New Confession

After my dad passed away me and my mother took a trip back to Ohio so I could drop her off at her sister’s house.. I got to saint louis missouri and we couldn’t find a hotel to say at so I pull over in a rest area and parked in the back. We both got in the back of the van and fell asleep. I woke up wet so I opened up the back of the van and took all my clothes off. I woke up my mother and she did the same. She laid back down and I got in behind her and I got a hard on. My mother put her hand back behind her and knew I had one. I started playing with her t*** and then her c***. She said I don’t think we should be doing this
I told her that both of us needed this. She rolled over on her back and I got on top of her and she put me inside her. I started off slow and then fast. I could tell she was c******. Then again and then again. That’s when I put myself really deep inside her and came. It felt so good c****** inside her. We talked about it the rest of the way and said that we should do it more when she comes back home. And then she tells me that dad and her knew about the guy up the street making movies with me and his daughter. I didn’t think any one knew about that. There was even times that me and him had s**. I would s*** him off and he did the same to me. Mostly it was me and his daughter having s**. Mom said that her and dad would watch us. They were looking thru holes in the wall and after he was done mom and dad had s** with the wife and him. Mom said that she has all the tapes. I said even the ones that me and him having s**
She said yes and the ones of you and he’s wife. She said that dad help him sell a lot of them to people. Mom said she had copies of all of them. She would show me were they are when she comes home. I played a couple of them and she had all of them. Even ones with mom and dad having s** with them. Mom asked me if I enjoyed being with him. I told her yes I did. It was fun sucking him off and him c****** I’m my mouth. He did c** a lot. They moved away and mom and dad never saw them again.

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today has been an awful day. I won’t go into the full specifics but I feel like a failure for the actions of others and how they harmed me professionally and mentally. It came to a head when an act of kindness from one person nearly became a guilt they would carry. a lady stopped so I could cross the road. she had the right of way and didn’t have to stop. but she did. the person behind her whipped onto the shoulder of the road and around her nearly hitting me. had I walked faster, had i not been watching one persons act of kindness would have been a guilt that weighed on them. The worst part is I am not sure if am upset at the impatience of the person who nearly hit me, or disappointed I didn’t move faster.