To: “high school scares the living crap out of me”. Me: for me it was middle school. Three years of constant fear of bullies. More like I let people take advantage of me! And my dad became an a****** at the time after he met his second wife. Perfect storm but I humbly stuck it out. Thankfully I grew up in a tight knit neighborhood, when I wasn’t at my drunk dad’s lol. For me the key was to know that something else lies ahead. School and depending on parents will one day end for you. As a kid, I could see civilization around me, and the general orderly flow of traffic and business in the world. It helped me think that the chaos around me was not the norm, it made me think there was something better out there and my s*** life was not the same as the world at large. I carried hope that maybe one day, I could be part of that orderly behavior of functional humanity. So many careers contribute to that. I am not saying that you have to become a conformist or a lemming! Go to a state college. You will meet a ton of awesome people from different walks of life. Places like ivy league just concentrate insincere rich people. I didn’t meet anyone that truly recognized and valued my inner me until college. You sound in touch with your emotions so you are ahead of the crowd! Find something to look forward to. Back in my day, it was the warm voices of the Celtics announcer, and the Dr. Demento show, lol. Rock and roll helped too. The whole genre at its core is about liberation. You have to own your uniqueness because society doesn’t at that age! I remember looking at goth kids like they were completely different from me. Now i wish I had gotten to know them. Good things are in your future. 🌞