I am a registered nurse. I just graduated. I enjoy music; singing, I play several instruments, I love to act.. theatre.. ect. I love to perform. I wasn't

13 years

268 Views

I am a registered nurse. I just graduated. I enjoy music; singing, I play several instruments, I love to act.. theatre.. ect. I love to perform. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life, of course. I was good in school, science being one of my stronger suits. I loved helping people, I loved interacting… so I became a nurse. I was in several honors programs, graduated on time… I did everything “right”. No kids, no issues, went straight from high school to college and am kosher, right? But I am so unfulfilled. I f****** hate myself and my life. Yet I have no reason, right? I’m totally healthy, my family is awesome, we’ve always had stability and lived comfortably. I have a best friend and a fiancee. Why do I feel like ending it? Why am I in so much pain? Because despite my “perfect” life, I feel like I’ve accomplished NOTHING. I am not fulfilled. I can’t even be a nurse because I got caught shoplifting two years ago, and it’s on my record until 2015 and nobody wants to hire a f****** criminal. I would never hurt or steal from my patients. I would never steal from a friend or my parents or from a family owned business… I stole from a corporate giant retailer who could lose thousands of dollars in merchandise and never know it. I didn’t even steal for myself; I stole s*** for OTHER people. Not because they asked me.. I wanted to give them things but I had no money to buy the s*** to give it to them. My fiancee spent all his money supporting me through school since I was too stupid to work and pass nursing school at the same time. So I stole clothes to give him since he didn’t really have the cash to get himself anything. Yet I am undeserving of a career. So I work as a corporate nobody, nameless and faceless for an insurance company. I s*** at everything.. music and theatre used to be my passion but everything I audition for I get cast as an extra and as for music… I miss being able to perform and be a part of something. That was the fun part. Yes, it’s okay to do it on my own time to express myself.. but it’s not the same. There’s nothing around here. There’s just nothing. I am nothing, no one special, no one accomplished. I don’t give a single f*** that I have a stupid degree. What can a piece of paper give me? Nothing. No one will give me a job. I have a 40,000 dollar piece of f****** paper for all my hard work. I have no flame to ignite my passion for anything because everyone else is in control of whether I get the part.. get that job… get that opportunity. I work and work and work and everyone else seems to tell me no. I am done being told no. I am done.

New Confession

Started going to an adult book store with booths about a year after my wife passed.I had never had a gay experience. A first I went to get sucked for releif . One night as I set down a pretty good size hard on was shoved threw the hole from the next booth. At first I just set there and stared at it. I couldnt stop looking at it. It was like a magnet and soon I was holding it in my hand.
My head started down like I couldnt stop myself and the next minute I had it in my mouth. Somehow I knew what to do although I had never done it bf.In no time I heard a loud grund from the other booth and my mouth was filling with c**. I didnt know what to do.I thought about spitting it out but instead swallowed it
I am hooked and spend way to much time there sucking any c*** that comes thru the hole. I have no idea how many loads I have swallowed there I am hooked and cant stop. Its worse than a drug.

Related Confessions

There are not enough characters to express how exhausted I am with my life. I am a closeted homosexual living in a country where I cannot express myself freely, and it’s killing me. Every day, I feel like my true self is slowly disappearing while I continue trying to fit the part. I have to if I want to survive. You know what they do with people like me here. Everyone around me seems to be moving on with their lives, getting married, settling down, and building a life. It’s heartbreaking knowing that I can’t ever have that, at least not the way I want to. My parents are nosy and keep hinting at me getting married. I get extremely uncomfortable at even the suggestion of it. I keep postponing myself. I keep hiding. I keep myself from experiencing life. I am dead, not alive. And that is my problem. I keep asking myself until when? How long until I experience my first? How long until I can finally breathe? How long until I am truly free?